The whole ‘I’m not a feminist’ thing you see on the internet isn’t a movement like feminism is. It’s more like a bunch of people using social media to expose the uglier side of a movement that claims to support equality and of course some people who are sick of the political correctness.
When you’re a a man claiming to be an anti feminist/not a feminist, it doesn’t surprise others because you’re already assumed to be some kind of a sexist monster. But when you’re a woman, you’re seen as someone who is betraying female kind – because hey, you’re supposed to support people just because you share the same genitals, right?
A very good friend of mine was accused of sexual molestation. The accuser also happened to be a friend of mine. This wasn’t a legal case – the claims were made through Facebook posts. Being the common friend, I found myself confused on how to react or how to approach either of them- I know my friend very well and I knew he would never indulge in such horrific behaviour but then the accuser – why would she lie?
The post had gone viral for the moment and I couldn’t ignore and move on. Being one of their few common friend, it was only natural that I HAD to react to it somehow. I didn’t want to come out and say she was lying despite the fact that a lot of her stories were not making any sense. I could not confront her and call her a liar on her face, I couldn’t question her- I mean how dare I doubt a fellow woman! What would she say, what would other women say? That I’m not supportive and regressive?
Eventually I approached my friend and he told me a more believable but a completely different version of the case. He sent me pictures of his face and neck that was full of nail marks. He told me he acted in self defence when she had slapped him and what followed was a fight.
I believe most people didn’t believe her but chose to take her side because when you’re a woman, that’s your responsibility- to take sides of a woman than to take side of the truth. Otherwise, you’re betraying people.
Author: Shruti Bhadra